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Living With Cerebella Ataxia

On the Mend.

I got out of the car in Morrisons car park, walked about fifty yards into the main bit, picked up a Guardian, paid for it, and walked back to the car and Cath drove us home.

Mundane? Yes, but it felt like a bloody miracle to us.

Alright, I have to use a white stick and the dark glasses give away the fact that my eyesight is shot, but the GAD anti body that Prof GG located in my blood, and was the silent assassin, is being held at bay due to the infusions of plasma (£200 a bottle, and I had forty over five days, yikes!) and a drug called Vigam.

Almost immediately the strength and feeling came back to my legs, which no longer move in the manner of a certain ‘Eighties Welsh Pop Star and ex Communist Party convener Mr. Stevens.

I walked across Ward 4 on the Alex Wing of The Royal London Hospital and the moment between my wonderful cousin Mairin and I will never leave either of us. Absolutely amazing.

BUT…. There is still a long way to go, and as the treatment is new, GG has no idea if this is for keeps or some temporary remission so fingers crossed.

I knew, I just bloody knew something would turn up.

I am waiting for an MRI scan to determine how much of the brain damage is permanent, when I spy a little lad grasping a Lightening McQueen toy as he skips along with his Dad, a big man sporting the impressive robes of a proud North African.

I say; “Hey little fella, my boy has that car.”

He smiles lopsidedly, but the four year old unmistakable twinkle is there in his big brown eyes.

They enter the scan room. The radiographer gives me a look, then a shake of the head and with a sudden shudder I can anticipate what comes next. The sound of his cries tears me apart.

I am going to be alright. He is not. This indeed is proof positive that there are no such people as “chosen ones” in receipt of the “miraculous grace” of some super natural power..

It’s a random throw of the dice and your life can be fucked up in the most cruel, savage and above all indiscriminate manner. I am just lucky. Nothing more, nothing less.

Here’s to luck, and all who sail in her.



About dermotrathbone

Writer and co author "Through Red Lenses". Activist Unite the Union, Save Our NHS Hull. Fan of Yorkshire County Cricket Club, Hull FC, Munster and Ireland Rugby. Views are mine alone and may not reflect the organisations concerned.


4 thoughts on “On the Mend.

  1. Is that a toast? I’ll drink to that! To Luck! (B)

    Posted by Unknown | September 18, 2007, 8:44 am
  2. Brilliant news. Couldn’t have hoped for better. Absolutely astonishing that it works that quickly as well! Get your running shoes on! 

    Posted by rebecca | September 19, 2007, 9:59 am
  3. Amazing result : ) To luck, and to all those that have the strength to keep fighting!!

    Posted by germie | September 19, 2007, 1:50 pm
  4. Next stop – The Beechtree!!! 

    Posted by Richard | September 19, 2007, 9:03 pm

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