Player of the Season: No contest. Michael Turner. How that fool Joleon Lescott is in front of him in the England pecking order defies belief. Get yersen to Walton Street Mr. Capello.
Goal of the Season: Geovani at the Grove. Why, oh why wasn’t I there? oh yeah. Money. And special thanks to Mr. Bastard at the DWP for accusing me of over claiming, and then telling me not to worry about it. Duck ponds, flipping, and Hazel Blears anyone? Shame the little Brazillian striker and part time Bible Basher in Anlaby did bugger all else for 80% of the remainder of the campaign. He has had too many last chances and doesn’t do it when the chips are down which, let’s face it is most of the time. He, Cousin, Boeteng and should be shown the door.
Opposition Goal of the Season: Lampard’s precision chip for Chelsea’s opener at Walton Street. I accused him of shinning it at the time. Sorry old chap. But you remain an overpaid, decadent and unpatriotic twerp though.
Best Game (Home): That would have to be Fulham. We showed grit when behind, and no little skill in dominating the second half thus getting our season off to the best possible start. We need to get a grip at home. Three wins and eleven defeats meant we had to rely on Newcastle being complete pants to hang on for another season. Brown needs consistency of selection in the home games, and leave the tinkering for specific situations in away fixtures.
Worst Home Game: Blackburn. Just awful. I really thought that was it. Going down. But we responded by chalking up the flukiest win of this, or any other season at Fulham. And by the way Roy Hodgson deserves to be gonged as Manager of the Season. Only Joe Kinnear in his Wimbledon days has done as well with the resources available.
Worst Away Game Attended: Sunderland. Stadium of Shite and a performance from City consumerate with the surroundings.
"This is the best trip I’ve ever been on" Hummm. Old Trafford was something else as was being two up at Anfield and seeing myself going mental on MOTD but, strange as it may seem as we lost, the FA Cup Sixth Round tie at Arsenal where we led deservedly for an hour will be the one that sticks in my mind, although I was upset and angry at how everything I respect and love about the Gunners seems to have evaporated into thin air since they left Highbury. That’s corporatisation for you. Mr. Hill-Wood went down a great deal in my estimation. Is this the same guy who dished out the punishments in 1990 after the infamous brawl, initiated by United players at Old Trafford, or the man who sacked George Graham to protect the good name of the Club? Cesc Frabregas is a scum bag of the first order, a lier and a thug. I hope Arsenal are proud to have a Captain like that. But it’s testament to how far we have come, and how far Arsenal have fallen if Wenger and his Skipper are so riled by the Tigers.
Worst Moment of the Season. Watching on a dodgy internet connection as Brown bollocked the players on the pitch at Eastlands. "Catch yerself on Phillip", as Jim McDonald may have put it whilst watching in the Rovers. But forgive and forget. Brown is on a journey of self discovery (C. Pseuds Corner in Private Eye) just as much as us, and he has done a fantastic job. Let’s hope his inner twat is under control a bit more next term.
The more football I watch, the less I understand it and as a result I will be boarding the rollercoaster once again in August, this time with my son as a full time companion. A life time of misery inflicted on him then.